Goodbye

Monday went really well. I went to the gym and did the elliptical for about 25minutes and then the treadmill for 25minutes - where I ran for 10minutes. It was killing me the last couple minutes, but I'm glad I pushed myself. I really want to get back to running at least a mile, I would love to someday be able to run a 5km run. I did arm weights on the machines. Initially I was planning on doing free weights, but there were so many over-muscled men hogging the mirror, so I was scared away.

Eating has been pretty decent. I have still not given in to bread, although chocolate was a problem yesterday especially because I was making my fibre cereal/dark chocolate snack yesterday and I couldn't let the chocolatey spoon go to waste (or the bowl), and also I went to my dad's. I only had a small sliver of pie with like one heaping tablespoon of ice cream (and to note: no bun on my TURKEY burger and a salad). I didn't eat again until I got home and got bored at 11:30pm. Really it was a miracle not to overeat at my dad's, I mean he had pecan tarts just sitting on the counter, all individually wrapped, ready for consumption. I just smelled one and then put it back down and drank some water. Now that is progress.
Oddly enough on Monday night I had dinner at my mom's, but she had made a meal from weight watchers so really that meal wasn't a problem.

The weight went down to 215lbs yesterday, but then today seems to be right back to 217.2. Who knows... it could be the chocolate from yesterday (although, I did not overeat THAT many calories, not even close), the water I didn't drink, my muscles retaining water, or my 'friend' that is coming to town today or tomorrow. So who knows... I am not going to fret over it because I know somewhere under this fat is going to be a smoking hot body of muscle soon.

My dad and my trip afar has become something quite different than what I initially was aiming for. Somewhere in Europe would have been lovely. But we are a family of procrastinators and when we finally starting looking into things (like a riverboat cruise down the rhine) things were already sold out. So a city tour like Vienna? hmm.. nope, then Switzerland (I spent a whole day researching where to stay)... nope. So now we are likely just going to travel in Canada. It's totally fine by me. I love Canada, I love British Columbia (with the clean air, mountains and water all in one, it's like you are in Switzerland), it was merely a huge annoyance to waste time having to look all that shit up. I wish my dad would make up my mind.

At the very least, I am staying up north (Ottawa and Montreal) a little longer than Sunday. I am sending my roadtrip friend back on a train to Toronto and I will stay another week. This will totally make my mom happy because she isn't going to Montreal until next Saturday, so this way we'll actually see each other there (not that that notion is particularly exciting for me, but it's fine).

I am going to try my hardest to get to the gym, but there is sooo much to do to get ready for my roadtrip tonight, especially now that I am staying an extra week. My place is a stye and I would like to have it all clean for my return, so many clothes to wash... ekk..

Okay, au revoir! And have a good week. I am going to keep up the weight training routine and hope to god I can find a good trail to run for next week.

Oops, I did it again...

Well the horrible rainy weather really fucked up my plans yesterday. So I was unable to walk to Staples, I didn't go to the gym and my softball game was cancelled. I was actually really disappointed with the softball game; I was all packed up and ready to go (in my car too). Our team captain named me MVP for the last game and I really wanted to see if I could prove myself again as our pitcher. Last week's game was really my best game yet. I struck out a couple people, I assisted some outs and made it all the way around the bases (although not a home run... yet).

After I had looked outside yesterday morning and saw the bloody rain, I decided I would do some home 'moves'. Two supersets of lunges and squats, crunches, leg raises, push-ups (on the wall though), side lunges, calf raises and maybe more. Today my ass muscles hurt incredibly, the big, the little and the middle. I feel like a person with hemorrhoids when I have to sit down with such care. Today will be some cardio at the gym and some arm/back training - I don't think I can (or should) do anything with my legs today.

Food was so good yesterday until the evening. Evenings are officially the hardest part of the day for me. I get lonely and sad and I waste time by eating. I had doritos just laying on my living room floor, chips that did not even cross my radar until 7pm and on. I used to be able to resist and not eat anything after 7, but now that I don't have school...well, I don't have anything to do.

So we'll see what I can do with today. I did manage not to eat any bread or cheese. But I am kind of thinking of reneging on the cheese part as I have lots of ideas with cheese... tomato and mozzarella salad, grilled chicken parmigianna... so maybe I'll just forgo the bread (I only eat low fat cheese anyways).

Maybe I'll go see a movie, I have a bunch of books to read, I have to get ready for the long drive on Wednesday night like make healthy snacks (fibre/chocolate thing, trailmix, apple slices etc.), start packing up the car, planning the route, making music playlists etc.

Well, wish me luck!

Turn It Up

My brother, the self-congratulatory type, is on a diet where he 'doesn't believe in exercise'. He says he needs to learn how to eat first and then he'll start exercising. I believe it's total bullshit (I don't think he'll ever make time for it). Isn't it better to learn to eat when you are incorporating the physical in your life too? You know, the part of life that makes your bones strong, keeps your heart pumping, your body lean, and your muscles strong... He knows nothing of nutrition and nothing of the human body but just theorizes that his notions are true. Lucky for him the bloody weight seems to fall off. So now after a couple months he's down 45lbs. Fuck... he's almost beating me. He says to me "look" (pointing to his body) and then he turns to the side "look, I disappear." Hence the self-congratulatory part.
Well, it makes me want to get seriously fit to show him up (haha... we are such a loving family). So when he is complaining of saggy skin and weakness (although, I bet that men have it so good that these are unlikely to be his issues), I will be push-upping, flexing and lunging myself in demonstration. Ha... okay, maybe not quite that, but secretly inside I will be smug.

I am at least back on the fitness bandwagon. I love it right now. I was back at the cottage for a couple of days and it felt so good to get out in the sun. I walked/jogged almost 8km in one day (maybe jogging like 1.5ish of that) and the next I ran a fitness trail where I ran a lot more, walked up and down these stairs (~100 steps) three times, I went swimming, did stability ball exercises, lunges, squats, push-ups. God, it felt sooo good to fell those abdominal muscles again. And to not have my knees hurt much anymore (I honestly believe that I have to stretch and strengthen my legs for them to be perfect). So it was a good little vacation. But now, being back in the big city I need to get into a routine here too (including eating).

I think I've realized that I will actually have to be perfect for a while for this to work again. I need to just do it (without excuses and without giving into cravings).

I'm going to do what I always do to jumpstart my weightloss when it's been a while... cut out bread and cheese. I will try to make myself accountable because I am sick of seeing those damn numbers on the scale belying all the exercise I am doing (ahem... but verifying te eating).

It's also my goal to do some sort of exercise for thirty days in a row. It might have to be just simply lunges, squats, push-ups and crunches on some days, but I want to try this out.

I will be in Ottawa from Wednesday night to Sunday, but I will bring my computer with me and hopefully will sneak in some alone time to write some posts. And if no internet, then I will write them up and post them when I do. (I also may be going to Vienna for a week sometime in August... but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it).

Here is my thirty day challenge - week one:
- no bread products (buns, pitas, tortillas etc.)
- no cheese
- cardio: 4 days (it's only 4 because I'll be away the rest of the week, and I don't know how much I'll get in besides some walking and the weightless training (i.e. I won't have free weights with me)
- weight/weightless training: 6 days
-start weight: 217.2lbs (yuck)

I'll post again when I've done some work... the plan is to walk to Staples get some notebooks and other paraphenalia to take with me to the gym to track my progress and then head to the gym afterwards for some cardio and training.

Be Here Now

I have experienced a couple of surprises lately...

One being that my weight wasn't down after coming home from the cottage. What up with that? I had figured out that in two days at the cottage I had walked/run like 9km. That's pretty freaking awesome and I think it deserved at least a 1lb loss. Bloody hell. Ended up being more like a 1lb gain. I didn't even see that one coming and honestly felt a little betrayed by my body. Okay my last day at the cottage was a lazy one with a little more food than usual, but jeez, I'm not going to be perfect everyday.

Anyhoo, I played two games of softball on Sunday - only pitched 1 of the games (captain apparently is deciding between us who will be the main pitcher - frankly either way is fine with me). When I was pitching I heard a guy on the other team say something like 'now we have a cute pitcher to look at'. He's a flirty guy with everyone, but it was great to overhear considering my concerns last post.

After my games on Sunday I drove to my hometown to pick up my friend who is secretly home from China for the next week! She was here until this morning and we had a good, but pretty tame time. Shitloads of shopping yesterday and surprisingly not nearly as much eating as we normally would do. Between the two of us, we usually find everything to eat - cake, bagels, chicken wings, pizza bagels etc. etc. We ended up eating bagels for breakfast, some popcorn during some movie watching (apparently it's different in China) and then dinner later on in the evening. I ate too much at dinner, but I did manage to restrain myself a very little bit - like by not eating all my bread or pasta, and leaving on my plate like one whole bite of my cheesecake (and I shared too!). Progress people!

Well, I am alone once again, and we'll see what can do with this bloody weight.

Wheat Kings

Update: none...

Alas I am far up north, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature instead of trudging through life in the big city. I love it up here (minus the incessant buzz of the bloodsucking insects) and I am managing to keep a lid on the horse-trough eating that has been my life the past few months.

I go for a walk everyday - both here and in the city - usually about an hour each time. In the city I head over to the gym immediately after to get my weights in (my flabby, toneless arms are seriously bothering me lately), I have even managed to run a (very) little bit. 30seconds on Sunday, maybe a minute on Monday, about the same Tuesday, but yesterday I think I managed a couple minutes. I will admit that half of the running I did yesterday was due in part to one of the buzzing creatures I alluded to earlier, and I managed to hit myself more than once in the head with my water bottle to get rid of it (no such luck). Exercise is hard.

Instead of walking on Wednesday I went to a softball practice where it's been deemed that I am our new pitcher (not that anything happened to our old one). I like knowing I have an important role, even though it also scares the shit out of me to have it. Everyone watches the pitcher, as a fat girl with a previous preoccupation about people staring, this is not the best setup. But I will do it and I will succeed, hopefully with as few tears as possible. So in having two games tomorrow I must drive back to the city sometime today and leave this life of reading 75% of day behind. Okay, technically I can do it at home too, but the internet isn't dial-up there.

Anyways, I am off to make some sort of healthful, 'good-for-digestion' breakfast. Have a good Saturday!