Another Night

Update: 214.8

Well... I suppose the 213 was all just a dream because the scale won't budge lower than this. I suppose if I decide to go back to sleep for 4 hours it will go down, but I do also enjoy getting up early (as long as it's without the alarm).

I was excellent yesterday until dinner. I had eaten a good, fibrous breakfast/lunch and went to the gym where I killed the elliptical (and it killed me) and did some arm weight machine things. My arms/shoulders obviously ache this morning, but I feel those arm muscles sneaking out from beneath my bones therefore it's worth the pain. I then had a small snack of banana, slices of chicken and then a couple spoonfuls of gelato.

As for dinnertime, I didn't do horribly, but I shouldn't have gone for the dessert. I ordered spaghetti and meatballs because it was one of the only pasta dishes with napolitana sauce, had a garden salad and we split two little loaves of bread between the 4 of us (and half of one was left over) - so I didn't eat too too much bread there. I didn't finish all the pasta (can't say the same for the meatballs though), and I ordered strawberries zablaglione for dessert. It was mostly strawberries with some custard, I didn't think it would be that horrible, but apparently on the daily plate it was about 450 calories... damn the bloody dessert. Overall I managed to stay under calories because of the exercise, but still I should have watched myself a little more. Oh well... I'm still making adjustments.

Well, I am off for a walk/run/jog and some leg weights today. Have a good one!

Note: Tomorrow is my free day because it's RIBFEST! My third anniversary - I look forward to the damn thing every year, hells yes.

Comin' Home

Update: 213.4

Haha.. I love this number, however, I am not quite sure how much I deserve it. I ended up eating quite a bit more than I meant to yesterday, partly just because I forgot how easily calories add up and I was at mom's new condo most of the day. Also, in the evening I went to my friend's place to watch a movie with popcorn and some sour cherry blasters. So not exactly a low calorie day - but methinks it was lower than what I have been usually doing.
And I did get a crapload of water in because there is no other way I would have needed to pee about 15 times yesterday for like a minute each time. I did take my multivitamin (which reminds me to do it now) and I ate a good amount of vegetables. So I'm on my way... just need to tune it a little.

Oh yes, and the weight loss might also be due partly to the fact that I woke up at 1pm today. I haven't done that in a very very very long time. What up with that? But I enjoyed it very much.

I have a dinner at East Side Mario's tonight so I am trying to plan my dinner beforehand so I don't go in there all willy nilly and end up ordering the cheesiest pasta, buttery-est bread and the biggest dessert they offer. That would not be good - (and waking up 213 felt really really good this afternoon I have to keep reminding myself).

So I am finally off to the gym, might as well rack up some negative calories just in case my 'healthy' order doesn't end up being as healthy as I think... damn restaurants.

Shut Up and Drive

Update: 215.4lbs

Phew... I honestly thought that it would be much worse than that. I was prepared for a weight up to 220. So I am a little happy about this, I've seemed to keep it moderately stable over the last two months, but it's not a weight I want to stay at. 205 felt so much better.

So I was thinking about why I want to lose weight, figuring I would renew my dedication to the 'journey' and so far have come up with:
So I can...
- fit back comfortably in the clothes I bought when I was just a mere 10lbs thinner
- start to see my muscles again (after I get them back) underneath the fat
- stop displacing 40L of water in the bathtub after I've filled it up for a bath
- look at an apple and a bowl of ice cream and pick the better choice
- start to cook again! I miss finding recipes and attempting to recreate them

Obviously the 'to look and feel better' will perpetually be on the list, so I think it does not need to be rewritten.

As for the cooking issue I have been wasting tons of food because I buy the fruits and vegetables (too many of them) with only the smallest of intentions of using them up. I think I try to guilt myself into eating them but it never ever works because then I just start bypassing the fridge door and go right for the freezer and no good ever comes from that. I've also started eating Kraft Dinner and hot dogs lately. I don't even like Kraft Dinner, but for some reason I just got a craving and it happens to be the bloody easiest thing to make. My blood pressure must be through the roof this past month from all the salt I've ingested from processed crap. I've also been skipping breakfast for extra minutes of sleep. Not good. So I have not been fibre's friend lately - back to the yogurt/bran/fruit train.

Here's to a productive day...

Return of the Mack

I'm BAAAAACK!

I'm finally done clinical, done with the early and stressful days and the super lazy and gluttonous nights. I guess I just needed the time to get through these two months and now they are over I have two whole months to make a dent in the bottom 200s and once and for all see the 100s (even if it's 199).

My clothes are tight, my confidence is a little less than usual, my body feels flabby. I am itching to get moving (although at this particular moment it's 11:30pm) - stretching and strengthening.

Tomorrow is a new day to begin again... is the motivation here again? I think so... I just need one day after another to get there (again). I'll make it work.

As for clinical... it went really well. I had a great final review where my evaluator almost cried because she was so proud of me (really it was because I did reception one day when we really needed it, so I had to learn super quickly because the front desk is extremely busy - somehow I managed it just fine) and how I have emotional intelligence etc. - certainly a great boost to the ego... Hmm... and also how sometimes I trail off in my speech (haha... I totally do that when I realize I don't know what I am talking about). I definitely have some things to work on, but overall it went really well. Stressful stressful days with constant evaluation, but looking back it might not have been as bad as I thought. (Actually it probably was) All our personalities didn't quite mesh exactly and I had to bite my tongue quite often to not cause problems, but in the end it was to my advantage. My evaluator commented that I knew when it was appropriate to say things - she wasn't specific here, but I'll assume it was referring to this.
So with hugs (and cake and chocolates), we (me and my friend from class) left our first taste of the clinic feeling much much lighter.

Now if only I physically weighed less too.... what a segueway eh?
The daily weigh-ins will begin again tomorrow morning, as will the daily food tracking, and heck maybe some daily posting too.
Let's see where a week will take us.

P.S. I just saw a taping of a concert by City and Colour and he is awesome... I recommend downloading everything by him... do it... do it now.

Sleep to Dream

Update: 214lbs

Well... at least in my very long absence I have at least stayed moderately stable weight-wise.

What have I been up to? Not very much... working every work day, some family obligations (like helping my mom pack up and move, my niece's birthday etc.). Weight loss just hasn't really been on the radar, but believe me I do think about it every day.

When I look back, I honestly do not know where the time went. How is the summer going by so quickly?? And where the hell did my motivation go? I really truly don't know what it is lately (pretty much since January) that's had me wane in my determination to lose the weight. I guess part of it is never having adjusted health-wise to living in my new place. I also blame the weather and whatever/whoever else I can to take away from the fact that I am just lazy after work. But I can no longer use the 'walking to work and back' and being on my feet all day as substitutes for exercise. They are not equal.

I need to have simple goals once again... water and exercise and multivitamin for the next little while. I just need to get that in order (especially the exercise) before I start feeling that spark again (I hope).

I just found out today that the technologist that I work most often with (and really really like and respect) is leaving one week Monday for a better job. I am really very sad about it, he's the one I get along best with and I find him one of the most knowledgeable people I've ever met in my field (not that I have met that many). So obviously he deserves better than his job now therefore I am also really happy for him. But why couldn't he wait the three weeks I have left there? :(

16 more days and then freedom... I think I am planning a European trip or at least a trip somewhere, I need out of the city for an adventure.