Bodies and Minds

Sorry for the long delay... the reason for it hasn't even been a problem with food... well, maybe the first week... but this past week has been good. Lately, I have eaten within calories except with my overeating Thursday night and Friday night. And even then Friday was a planned 'over-eat' day. I will be having one of these (note: ONE for next week) each week just to let the cravings out... I survived through this last one somehow so I'll make it a regularly scheduled part of eating.

My thoughts on food have started to click lately and I am not sure quite what changed. On my Friday night binge I allowed myself to have anything I wanted, but after I had eaten the good stuff in my house (some McCain cake and the last of a bag of Miss Vickie's chips), there really wasn't anything I wanted. I thought about it all... hamburgers, fries, more chips, chocolate, but nothing really sparked a real craving in me. So I didn't eat anything else. I did get an ice-slushie thing which I was craving, but I consider it a victory when I allow myself to eat anything... and come out with a drink. I could have done much worse damage on Friday than what actually occurred. Still over-calories, but it's the small things right now that matter.

On Saturday I went to the movies with my sister and had planned out the day beforehand which involved a small bag of buttered popcorn (about 7 cups apparently) and then my breakfast (damn the highly caloric popcorn!). But by the time I was at the movies and had the popcorn in my hands, I didn't really want much of it. I had a little bit here and there, but I managed not to sit there with it in my lap mindlessly munching. I estimated that I ate half of the small bag, but I truly think it was less than that. My sister also got Twizzlers and despite them sitting in my lap the entire movie, I only ate three of them. Another victory! When I got out of the movie theatre, my sister asked if I wanted to go back to her place and make supper, but I really wasn't hungry and I knew that it would mean further temptation for me (we always make something good). Instead, I walked the half an hour from her place (where the theatre is) to home. I could have taken a 2 minute subway ride, but it was a nice day and I figured I would help out my body a little and walk the 2.4km.

The one thing that hasn't been going well is exercise. And that's only because I haven't found the energy to get to the gym the past week and a half. At the very least I have been walking to and from work everyday (1.2km each way), but I know it's not quite enough. So that is my goal this week is to make an effort to make it to the gym after work a couple of times.

My clinical work has been going really well. I haven't screwed up anything big yet (knock on wood). I am still learning and trying not to forget the little things while doing a bone scan, but the people I work with are generally nice and I have received two encouraging reviews already. The problem: waking up early. Jeez, it's hard going from the life of an exam-writing student to working girl (haha... not that kind of working girl). I find myself having 'naps' lasting hours once I get home from work. I just don't have the energy to do anything in the evenings anymore because I can't stand to be up late and then also have to wake up early. This is especially important because I need my energy for the day at work. We are almost always on our feet - I am thinking about taking a pedometer in with me someday to get a reading on that. The clinic isn't that large but I am constantly walking to and fro, so I think it would be an interesting number. Anyways, it's been this exhaustion that has deterred me from writing here. I don't do much during my days (or nights), so there wasn't much to write about.

In regards to the social/dating aspect - the men in my life are of ridiculously low calibre and I think I have resigned myself to merely living amongst them for a while without the intention of finding one to date. Frankly, the ones who like me are conceited dunces (note that I refrained from using a whole lot of cuss words here). Not quite sure what signals I'm sending, but apparently they are not the right ones.

In conclusion... my highest weight this past week was 215.8lbs (Monday), my lowest weight this week was 212.6lbs (Thursday) and my weight today is 213.2lbs. So down 2.6lbs for the week... not too shabby there Briana...