Walls Fall Down

Finally! .... I finally had a great eating day, without even really thinking too much about it. I needed this, I really truly needed to *want* to eat right and then just do it already! So although it's only 6:30pm, I still have 250 calories left, I have eaten one million vegetables and had almost 100grams of protein (which means that is 100grams of carbs - probably in the form of chips and candy - that I didn't eat). I haven't even had a craving for anything bad today, which is a great accomplishment because my life has been overrun with them lately.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day. I had a horrible exam and I decided that I needed to calm myself (as I seem to do often) with food. Kind of bingey actually. A bag of chips, swedish berries, mini reese peanut butter cups, Wendy's (kind of ironically with a side of baked potato), a chocolate bar earlier in the day and a bagel for breakfast. It was all I ate, but considering it's 95% fat, I surely ate 1000's over my daily limit. I felt sick later in the night, but I just didn't stop myself. It was a way to calm and comfort myself and even my way of procrastinating studying for the next one... ahem... which I am certainly *not* doing right now. I don't really regret the move yesterday, I wanted it, so I ate it. Looking back I just wish I had picked different foods to binge on. And considering it flicked a little switch inside to eat well today, then I am alright with that.

I went grocery shopping today to get tons of vegetables and it is officially my goal to eat every single thing I bought today (haha... although, obviously not all in ONE day). I need to get in the habit of using up what I buy; I am pretty sure I have everything that I could ever want, and I really want to stop wasting food, it costs too much money. I want to try to keep my grocery bills under a 100 bucks and go about every 1.5 -2 weeks. That's doable, right?

I haven't exercised this week, but I am sure I'll get back into it when I have the time. I remember early last week I got on the treadmill again and it was a wonderful feeling. The first time I ran 5 or 6 minutes straight and didn't even feel winded - I stopped because I don't want to screw my knee up again... but the next day I was tempted, so I ran again, this time my full mile. It was great. It felt so great to feel every muscle in my body activated. I wasn't going as fast as I did early this year, but I still felt a twinge in the knee later on that day. Damn it all to hell. I need to find some effective tibial band exercises/stretches - I refuse to give up running, especially when the nice weather is finally here.

I am very excited for the weekend (despite the fact that I should be studying) because I think I found a bistro table set to go on my balcony so I may enjoy the outdoors a little more! I already have some string lights on the railing and just need some seating and some extra light. Can't wait! And also I need to go shopping to get a decent wardrobe for my clinical work (which starts in just over a week)! Exciting... I haven't been shopping in a while... let's see if I can lose some weight before then (or at least get back down to the 205s-ish).

Have a good night!