Update: nope... not going to happen..
So I now realize why I started my diet last year *after* reading week (spring break for you Americans). I can't say I did very much during it, but that was partly the problem. I sat at home eating and then I would go out and... well, eat. I wouldn't get the gym and certainly napping never counts as exercise. Another difficulty of the week involves my pretty severe procrastination that has been happening this semester. I have never felt so unmotivated in school in all my life (although, I am pretty sure I have said this before). Teachers this semester are horrible, the content is either so boring that I want to put myself to sleep or it's something we have previously learned. I get this pretty severe urge to wing everything I do - midterms, quizzes, practicals. I just don't want to spend more energy than is necessary this semester. I am not sure what caused this change, maybe because I killed myself last semester and I know it's not worth doing again. So instead of finishing important work, I sit and sit... and then eat.
I know I will get back to healthy living, but I don't know when that will be. I want to get down to 199lbs, but I just need to get my motivation back. Something is missing right now - confidence, energy, determination, etc. I will get it all back. I have to get it back.
Tomorrow is the end of my stress for a little while, so I have no more excuses not to get back to exercising at school - long, very sweaty sessions.
I did manage to get to the condo gym the other day where I was actually able to run a mile again (yay! the knee didn't hurt), but it was definitely not enough. I think I will very very slowly increase my mileage so I may eventually get to 5km (3.1miles) - one third of the way!
I ate poorly today, but still managed to stay within calories - hopefully that is a first step towards feeling better (again) about all this. I always do this right before a big deadline - they just never ever work for me. Self-sabotage should be my middle name... oh well... it's not like the 'journey' ends at the one year mark anyway.
Monday, February 25, 2008
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1 comments:
One day, Briana. 24 hours. White knuckle it if you have to. Get back on plan and you will feel so much better about all this.
I have been you and I wasted too many years never tackling my weight problem. I just kept ignoring it and I wasted my 20's, 30's, 40's , and a lot of my 50's too heavy to do the things I wanted to do.
If you don't do it now, when will you do it? After your skin is stretch so far that it will never be normal again? After your blood sugar starts to creep up into diabetic territory? After your knee is damaged beyond repair by carrying too much weight around? After you have self-doubt so ingrained in your soul that you find it hard to recover?
Do this now...today! If not now, when???
I think you're great and I want this so badly for you. I am your long-distance weight loss friend and I am cheering you on to greatness!
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